Be Seen. Be Known. Be-loved

I was at Redemption Hill Church's first women retreat in years and was so touched by the talk by a missionary, Jemima. It was well planned and I love that the team has chosen a room nestled in lush greenery at Hort Park. It was so peaceful to be in the midst of like-minded ladies, good cheer and God on a Saturday.

Here are some of my takeaways from the retreat:

Working for Love

As women, we are often told that we need to "work for love" - that our kids will only love us if they are fed; our husbands will only love us if they come home to a clean home and well behaved kids, or our boss would only approve us if we have done everything right. The missionary reminded us that God wants us to work from love, and not for love. Because we will feel that we are never enough when we work for love. When we base our identity on what we do, we feel tired and eventually burn out as we toil for the love we think we deserve.

I find myself guilty of this - working for love. There were often times in the week when I would mentally scrutinize the list of to-dos and feel inadequate and that I'm failing someone - my daughter or my ASN team or Remarkable Women committee members. How can we constantly remind ourselves that the laundry is never finished and that we are not valued for what we got done?

How can we remember that we just need to work from love? Personally, accepting help and love from others have been an ongoing struggle for me. I don't know if this is due to the 'first child syndrome' or is this pride to 'succeed' by my own strength. As I looked back, I often see that my 'successes' were the result of others coming to join me in my 'mission'. I could never have done it alone.

It is only when we are filled with Love that we can sustainability give love

Have you ever noticed that you love your husband and children so much and yet you were unable to avoid feeling annoyed and shouting at them at times? And be filled with regret after the incident?

It is not true that you don't love them. It is just that you run out of gas (love). To give love to others sustainably, we need to fill our gas tank of love first. And God wants to love us and fill our gast tank - how are we allowing him to do that?

Slow down and Stay abide in God

Another message that I felt reached by is that God doesn't need us to strike off the list of to do for him. One of my greatest saboteurs is Hyperachiever. It gives me so much pleasure to complete the list of tasks I set myself, whether at work or at home. But lately, I notice the seasons for me have evolved from a doer to be a be-er.

During the retreat, I am again reminded that God is not totalling the points as I complete my tasks. Peter Simon isn't judged by the number of fishes he managed to haul onto his boat. And the calling for me isn't to bring in the fishes but to become a fisher of men and focus on nurturing relationships.

The beautiful thing is that God doesn't need us to abandon who we already are. We could just apply our God-given skills and strengths towards fulfilling our calling and building the Kingdom.